2-0 to the kleptomaniacs!

By: Martyn | October 29th, 2008

For the second time in the space of 4 days, Cardiff City win after fans of both teams involved endure the individual and collective dire showings of 22 men on the pitch. Our victims this time were Blackpool, a team that pegged us back in the 95th minute when we played them in the reverse fixture just one calendar month ago. I think labelling us as a team suffering from kleptomania – a condition that sees sufferers show “an irresistible impulse to steal, stemming from emotional disturbance rather than economic need” – is apt because the last two games have been so lacking in spark, creativity, cutting-edge finishing and urgency that you’d be hard pushed to find two better examples of stalemate games should you remove the goals that eventually came.

But came they did, the impulse to suddenly strike and steal proved too appealing to resist, and to paraphrase a number of clichés: Nothing is impossible in The Beautiful Game (a truly horrible three words that I promise never to use again). That the urge and desire for the steal supposedly results from emotional rather than financial issues is apt because – to bang on about this topic yet again – we haven’t spent any of the large amounts of transfer money received in the summer so it truly can’t be stealing for want of financial gain (promotion)! Last night was clear as to which area of the team money needed to be spent in:- The Midfield. How is it that we could bid £2-3m for the likes of Kenny Cooper, Kris Boyd, Marlon King and Daniel Cousin yet fail to address the derelict centre midfield situation? We briefly tried to plug the gap by signing a Nigerian free agent but even that failed to materialise. There are 5 main options in this most problematic of areas: A crock, a youngster, a sulking transfer seeking Premier League diva wannabe (as someone who is narked by the price of my pint going up by 10p, the fact Stoke City bid SIX MILLION POUNDS for Joe Ledley is truly astounding and incomprehensible to me – the Director of Football John Rudge must have been on some seriously mind-altering drugs when lodging that bid!), and two shot and goal-shy big club hand-me-down’s. The way McPhail and Rae are playing at the moment is semi-understandable if not agreeable. With Scimeca injured once again, Ledley preferred out wide, Blake seemingly great to speak with on the substitute’s bench and McPhail in a clandestine love affair with our manager, both know that they won’t face the axe.

If we had invested in a quality midfield player we not only would have added much needed depth to the squad and put pressure on those floundering in the first XI, but also provided some tactical salavation for Dave Jones. A pulsating, on-form centre-midfielder might mean a two-man central midfield (in our 4-4-2) could hold its own and probe an opposing three-man midfield more than the two clowns given the shirt are doing at this moment in time. If the same problems surface against Wolves on Saturday – even though it’s amazing what the power of the Sky cameras sometimes does to players – drastic action needs to be taken; as radical as that sounds after two victories. Wolves might well pose a different problem in that they are a ‘promotion rival’, and therefore the players might spark into life and raise their game. As football players at every club in the world have a highly annoying habit of doing. Fingers crossed that this is the case (although I’ll be guaranteed to have quit moaning if we secure another crappy narrow victory over Wolves after another tepid and inept midfield display anyway!) but if not I advocate that we start against QPR on November 8th with Blake and McPhail in the centre and Parry and Whittingham on the flanks.

At times our centre midfield was drowning in a sea of Fanta last night, constantly outnumbered by opposition who didn’t really seem to care if or when they got the ball. When they did, they didn’t have the confidence or quality to use it properly despite the space our midfield gifted them. In fact, the Blackpool halfway hovering trio were almost penitent, a fumbling lousy lover consumed by too much umm’ing and ahh’ing or needles guilt. We on the other hand saw a fair bit of the branded spherical bit of leather but didn’t have the vision to use it, the mental or physical ability to pass to a colleague, or the energy to bother or care. Set-pieces on the whole were frequent but wasted.

Dave Jones claimed yesterday that it makes him “laugh” when people say he plays a 4-4-2 as the formation is a lot more “fluid” than that. Well call it what you like Dave, but yesterday our “fluid” system saw Blackpool gifted an incredible amount of time and space when on the ball as our 2 centre midfielders seemed happy to sit back and let them have a go. Jones will argue that it worked as we eventually won the game and they failed to score, but such an argument would fail to tell the true story. We could have made life a lot more comfortable if we had imposed ourselves on their jam-packed central region a little more. We were the home team in 4th position, y’know. It’s true to acknowledge that we attack with a 4-3-3 and this gives some credence to the claims of Jones about a “fluid” system. However, with McCormack still unsure of where to go or sit positionally (unless this is what DJ means by fluid!?? I suppose fluid has a better ring to it than lost) and Ledley spending the majority of games half-asleep and half-arsed, we just haven’t got the required tactical nous to switch between varying systems throughout a game. We defend with an imbalanced 4-4-2, and attack with a 4-3-3 but with 2 of the midfield 3 offering nothing due to the attack-minded ineffectiveness of Gavin Rae and Stephen McPhail. In this sense, you could even call it a 4-2-1-3!

Tactics have always been a sticky issue for Jones, but the man himself has no problem with the way we are playing right now and maybe as a fan with his team sitting pleasingly in 3rd I shouldn’t either. But looking at things from a long-term perspective, Jones needs to add extra facets to his Tactics, Systems and Formations Notebook. We may have beaten two weak teams after poor showings through either sheer luck, McCormack’s brilliance, or the discovery of some belief but a new system must be found or used that gets our midfield into the game and ensures we aren’t so swamped and stifled. Riding our luck cannot continue as performances in a similar vein against the likes of Wolves (who might adopt a 5-man midfield being the away team) and QPR (caretaker manager Gareth Ainsworth may want to shut-up shop to avoid defeat and keep him in with a shout of getting the job full-time) will surely end in defeat? Or perhaps I underestimate the character, stamina and “fluid” climatic tactical discipline of this team that sees us bag so many late goals…

For all of Blackpool’s perceived negativity, they did have chances and launched several more attacks that such a negative set-up doesn’t normally allow for. As it was, the Seasiders seemed to have admirable tactical discipline and cool heads: Hence how the two late goals really must have been a kick from a skinhead’s Dr. Martens in both groins to them. It was pleasing to see contributions from our main strikers in the eventual goals. Bothroyd – MOTM in my and many others opinion – sent a lovely ball over to Whittingham (why the hell was he on the bench in favour of Ledley?!!) to bury a header, and Ross McCormack reiterated that he is world-class when it comes to set-piece despatching. Call it tunnel vision, but the £110k we paid for this boy might just be one of our greatest ever buys (taking into account probable mark-up when we sell him and the goals he’s contributed already/will continue contributing) and certainly the pinnacle of Jonesy’s lifetime transfer dealings. However, once again, Eddie Johnson was thrown on and looked absolutely well…. something rude. Who the hell saw this boy play before we signed him? I say boy, he’s in his mid-20’s!!This was a catastrophic, desperate, wasted signing of a striker and the fans deserve to know who is responsible for this disastrous piece of recruitment. With no striking depth whatsoever, promotion could be squandered away through the mistakes of men too proud and ignorant to admit them. Yes, McCormack was a bargain. But Eddie Johnson isn’t and wasn’t. Fans of rival teams… You genuinely won’t understand how bad this guy is until you see him. I’m not exaggerating when I say he is without doubt the worst player I’ve seen in a City shirt (and that isn’t tunnel vision). Of course, I’ll happily lick his boots clean should he come good, but trust me, he won’t. For any team, ever. No matter what some might say, if this guy prospered in the MLS then it truly is a joke of a league.

Players summed up in 4 words or less each.

Heaton – Shaky, Uncertain, Wonky Kicking. 5
McNaughton – Quiet, Untroubled, Offered Little. 5
R Johnson – Wasteful But Strong, Unruffled. 5
Purse – Composed, Colossal, Kept Warm. 7
Commingues – Not Under Cosh Thankfully. 5
Ledley – Lazy, Wasteful, Wants Transfer. 3
McPhail – Did Absolutely Nothing (Right). 2
Rae – Profligate, Sloppy, Marginalised, Lost. 3
Parry – Passive/Active, Wasteful/Useful. Sometimes 7, Sometimes 5
Bothroyd – Poise, Composure, Assist, Active. 8
McCormack – One Moment Of Genius! 6
Whittingham – Inventive, Involved, Urgent, GOAAAAL!!! 7
E Johnson – Total Headless Chicken Chic. 3