Benign Blades 0 – 0 Blunt (But Resolute) Instruments

By: Martyn | August 31st, 2008

If I have to sum this game up in three letters, they would all be the alphabet’s much maligned 26th character in a bold, capitalised font with a few full stops littered in between each usage of the three Zorro logo’s. You get my drift… this was a snore-fest. Regardless, my hands were clapping and my tonsils were penetrated by a gurgled “WAAAAEEEY” at the sound of the referee’s final whistle because sometimes a 0-0 away draw against one of the league’s bigger guns – a team I tipped to go up automatically, although looking back at the rest of my predictions, don’t take a blind bit of notice as to what I say. Huddersfield League One champions or Dagenham & Redbridge dead certs to go down, anyone? – is a damn fine result, especially when it gifts your team its first clean sheet of the season, adds to the unbeaten record ongoing since May, and is built on the back of a solid defensive display. Wales Online provides a very accurate and comprehensive match report for the game right here, so I’ll focus more on what I saw as positives (and a few negatives) from the game, the day as a whole, and the repercussions.

Merits

- Holding our guard without any of those stomach-churning defensive mishap moments as the Sheffield juggernaut soldiered on towards us in third gear, determined to smash us into smithereens with a cricket bat rather than a heavily-endowed battalion. This Celtic-tinged outfit gave a backs-to-the-walls masterclass and restricted the South Yorkshire outfit to a mere two golden opportunities.
- Seeing two players I often criticise give joint MOTM performances: Miguel Comminges (starting at left-back) and Roger Johnson. Both were dependable, domineering, and proved more difficult to solve and crack than a Private Eye crossword attempted by an insomniac.
- Others worthy of adulation for their performances were the returning Kevin McNaughton, the tireless, toiling and terrific Paul Parry, and Ross ‘Superman’ McCormack – the latter defended heroically from the front like a better version of the Manchester United-sculptured and amended Carlos Tevez. Okay, that’s a minor exaggeration, but emphasis on the word minor: McCormack is a player n’ half.
- As an aesthetic spectacle, the midfield were deliberately stifled and subject to budget cuts in the creativity department. It was more Neil Kinnock than Neil Buchanan or Tenant, but in obtaining a point it was vastly veracious and apt. Such tactical discipline must be acknowledged as a feather in the hat of Dave Jones.
- The atmosphere in and around the ground was buzzing with news that we’d drawn the Jack Bar-Stewards in the Carling Cup 3rd Round. There’s nothing like a local derby to turn the competition from a cheese sandwich to a flamin’ tikka masala!
- This was my first visit to Bramall Lane and I must say I was very much impressed by the ground itself. A 29k crowd provided a great atmosphere and the stadium itself was not lacking in character, charm or acoustics.

Hyphens

- Joe Ledley, Stephen McPhail, Darren Purse and Jay Bothroyd put in relatively steady shifts that were littered with mistakes here and there. The worst moment of the game was provided by the former three, as all left each other to deal with the ball on the edge of the box. The result – it lay there harmlessly as our players were busy holding the door open for one another until a Blades player finally decided to seize control of it. To be fair to Purse, he was always there sticking his balding skull on the evolved pig’s bladder, and subtlety and skill were and will never be facets of his game. Bothroyd had our best chance, but did little else of note other than note tally a high uncompleted pass ratio.

Demerits

- The perfunctory dire showings by Tom Heaton and Peter Whittingham.
- £3.50 for a bottle of Carling with the only other alcoholic beverage on offer being the alcopop VK!? Sheffield, hang your beer gut in shame…
- The unnecessary, nannying and heavy-handed tactics of the operating Police force. Saying that, if the beer, two expected bad performances and the Policing are the only slights on an otherwise very good – not perfect, a 0-0 draw never will be – day, then so be it!

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- In the animal kingdom or Football League Championship food chain, it’s currently Wolves at the top of the ladder, and Rams getting stuck, cut and adrift at the first foot. Birds feature prominently in the chain, with Bluebirds nestled in between Eagles and Owls at the lower end, and Swans and Robins at the upper end. It’s still early days mind and nothing is determined in Round 4 of the Championship calendar, so plenty of time for one specimen to leapfrog the others and rule the roost.

- In transfer news, a mystery midfielder is set to enter the metaphorical Ninian Park revolving door. The mind boggles and the excitement tingles! Alas, hearsay on the coach was that it might be Robbie Savage. Oh dear…