Bluebirds suffer as Brum give the kind of performance that would tempt the dog from the meat-wagon.

By: Martyn | September 28th, 2008

This contest is perhaps best defined by twisted clichés like ‘David vs Goliath with the latter obeying expectation and triumphing’ and normal clichés like ‘it was men against boys out there’. Birmingham City were simply sumptuous whereas we were simply second-class. For a change though, the standard of our set-piece delivery was actually top-drawer. The only drawback yesterday was the fact that Jaidi and Ridgewell pretty much got their head on the ball every time after being met with minimal challenges for it. This was a shining example of the Second City side’s superiority and our being totally in awe. In the first half, three BCFC players gave performances that roughly resembled perfection. Irish international Lee Carsley was everywhere, sweeping up, tackling, hounding, dictating the tempo, launching their attacks and stopping ours. Swedish starlet Sebastian Larsson was full of energy, running, urge, hunger and desire. And last but not least, Ghanaian galactico Quincy Owusu-Abeyie was nippy, sharp, delicate and a real handful. He capped his brilliant half off with a volleyed goal from outside the box and a delightful chipped through-pass which totally bamboozled our defence for McFadden’s opening goal. This might be a Cardiff City blog, but when your team is met with opposition that are this irresistible one has to digress.

Maybe – Am I about to say this… – we actually missed Stephen McPhail yesterday? Our central midfield pairing of Gavin Rae and Joe Ledley were totally overrun, outclassed and chasing shadows for the majority of the game. They were bunched, added nothing in the way of invention, offered little support to the attack and were pegged back far too frequently. Both were made to look unfit, technically and tactically inept, and positionally clueless. Our squad is so brittle due to Clown A and Clown B’s ineffectiveness in the transfer market that the only two midfield options we had on the bench were Mark Kennedy and Darcy Blake. Our only striking option was Eddie Johnson. Nuff said. If yesterday didn’t convince Dave Jones to get on the case of bringing in a midfielder on loan ASAP then I and several thousand others will be happy to help him clear his office out. I can already see Dave Jones’s retorts to the supporters calling for urgent Big Name acquisitions – “Everybody’s looking for the same man”, “It’s not that simple”, “We can’t pay the wages” (After our summer spending spree???), blah blah blah. These phrases should not pass the lips of our manager. We are in such dire need of an injection of quality and non-donkey depth that Dave Jones should be offering to saw his own legs off if that’s what it takes to convince someone to get there arse down here for a few months. Everybody loves to feel wanted, and a loan move to the Championship is hardly detrimental to any permanent life-plans a Premier League player may hold. I’ve followed this sport long enough to know that it’s a game that’ll make your mood more up and down than Hugh Hefner’s Viagra-powered penis, hence the need for tosspots like Cameron Jerome to open their gobs and label us fickle. This time last Sunday things looked a bit better, even if we were struggling to break down a poor Derby side. But 7 days and 2 defeats later things really have gone pear-shaped. The penalty goals and draws that were masking the ugliness that lurked beneath are gone, and unless we want our season to be over by October Jonesy has to act now.

Back to the game, or more accurately, something that has bothered me for the last few seasons during the warm-up. Prior to going back in the dressing room to change before walking out for kick-off, Dave Jones has always had the players taking it in turns to shoot at the keeper. This of course isn’t an exercise restricted to use by us: Countless Premier League, Sunday League and Junior League sides do exactly the same thing. Now I suppose the thinking behind this is that maybe it eradicates nerves before the game, gives the players a taste of how good it feels to crack in a stunner, and gets the banter going. Yesterday however the squad seemed to perform the operation like it was a chore. In this case, the exercise becomes entirely futile. Players and muscles get cold, concentration drifts away from the game, boredom sets in and surprise surprise, we concede a goal within 5 minutes. I would love to think that Dave Jones gets this pedantic and takes stuff like this into account. If we had finished our warm-up with an exercise that involved close quarters ball control or ball retention perhaps we would have been more switched on after exiting the tunnel for kick-off and more eager to get on the ball. And more comfortable with it. I don’t hold my breath for a change in routine mind, the lazy and very British idea of game preparation will persist and this isle wonders why we’re falling behind our technically superior world neighbours!?

Another noteworthy point I picked up on yesterday was how dry the pitch looked. Our pitch normally looks pristine and the groundsman working at the club must be among the best in the country. However, with the pitch looking very dry, bare and the legendary Ninian Park bump on full display, you can’t help but wonder/worry if this may contribute to our players picking up needless, niggling injuries in the coming weeks. Let’s hope not, and let’s hope that the turf is still given love, affection and attention in spite of the fact that this time next year we’ll be playing a few hundred metres away in a new stadium on a new pitch.

Here is how the players on show yesterday fared in rank order:

1. Peter Whittingham – Shittingham, our best player!?? Yup, shocking innit? But he was. In the absence of Chief Ball Hogger/Ditherer Stephen McPhail, Whitts got involved and made sure he saw plenty of the ball. On the whole, he used it very well even though no killer pass was forthcoming. His set-piece delivery was brilliant and his effort couldn’t be faulted. Well done son.

2. Ross McCormack – Silver medal goes to the speedy Scot. McCormack drops so deep and wide that the majority of our play was being dictated out on the flanks due to Whittingham’s role. That says a lot about our ineffectual central pairing and Paul Parry too mind. Nevertheless, McCormack showed signs that he can be a fox in the box, making sure that he was constantly alert when Maik Taylor failed to take charge in his own area. A stunning solo goal (Eddie Johnson assist!!!) capped a decent afternoon’s football that never exactly verged near exceptional.

3. Roger Johnson – The MOTM chosen by the match sponsors. Johnson was arguably partly culpable for Brum’s early goal that changed the face of the match: We were never going to mutilate a side that no longer had any reason to attack after that. Nevertheless, in spite of his ever-present crap distribution, Johnson didn’t have a bad afternoon.

4. Darren Purse - Fell asleep for McFadden’s goal and then stopped tracking back in the slim hope that linesman would start wagging his flag frantically. It never happened. Throughout the game, Purse lost McFadden more times than Amy Winehouse has had drug dinners. Thankfully, this went unpunished in the way of more goals. McFadden is a strange wee boy. He’d look more at home in Travis or some such indie band, but he really is a clever player. Blessed with no pace worth writing home about (as you do), he constantly shuffles into new positions which means that you have to both eyes on him at all times. Purse got to grips with this eventually but then McLeish hauled the Scot off. Dave Jones holds him responsible for the defeat, but that major blip aside Purse looked okay.

5. Eddie Johnson – Maybe my headline for this post should actually be ‘WORLD AMAZED AS SUPPOSED FOOTBALLER ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE ONE’. I had feared the worst because in the pre-match warm-up, Johnson did not look like he was up for the game at all. Whereas a youth team player would have been raring to go in the hope of impressing the coaching staff for even a nanosecond, Johnson just laboured through and you could imagine him doing the kind of frustrated and bored noises people do that make them sound like horses. However, when he got on towards the end, the American tried. He didn’t exactly do much but then he wasn’t given the time. Assisted McCormack’s goal with a headed assist that was simple enough, and almost got on the end of a hopeful McNaughton cross. But collapsed in a heap and didn’t. Nevertheless the trying was appreciated. Thanks mate.

6. Mark Kennedy – If only because him coming on meant Comminges was taken off!! But truthfully, Kennedy did look a lot more composed and natural, albeit through the body of an unfit thirty-something.

7. Gavin Rae – Totally second best but managed to get a few smashing tackles in during the second half and began pressing the Cardiff City issue a lot more than he had done. Other than that, he was a mere pedestrian.

8. Tom Heaton – Sure, he made two very good saves and this he does well. But once again, he was the man behind the sleepy defence as we let in another goal at home that bordered on criminal, and once again his distribution was so awful and frustrating that you felt like running onto the pitch, screaming in his face and tearing your hair out just to emphasise how dire and costly it is. If we sign this clown on a permanent deal then we might as well just change the name from Cardiff City Football Club to Cardiff City Freak Circus.

9. Kevin McNaughton – He just hasn’t started this season. He fired in a few telling crosses but he’s beginning to look suspect when it comes to defending. Quincy’s volleyed goal came from his side of the pitch along with the assist for the opener.

10. Joe Ledley – Spurs today smell talent. Ninian yesterday witnessed ball-watching, laziness, headless chicken chic, overhit passes and shadow chasing.

11. Jay Bothroyd – I wonder what the return policy is at Wolverhampton Wanderers. Hopefully Dave Jones hasn’t washed the trousers with the receipt in from Bothroyd’s purchase. Even the nice touches are being taken over by clumsy oafish ones and Bothroyd just never ever looks like he is going to score.

12. Paul Parry – A question I may yet come to regret asking: Is Paul Parry finished as a player at this level? On the basis of his last two showings – 180 minutes of absolute anonymity – it looks that way. Parry is clearly a troubled man. Two messy divorces – one from his wife and the other from his country – are clearly hampering the player’s attitude and desire. Has he got enough mental strength to get his ‘mojo’ back?

13. Miguel Comminges – Oh dear, oh dear. Taxiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!