Bothroyd becomes a painter and decorator as he slaps wallpaper over the most gaping of cracks

By: Martyn | December 29th, 2008

I have to keep this short as I’m a-headed outta town. In describing yesterday’s 1-0 victory over Plymouth Argyle however, the clue is in that picture – uuuuuuugly!!! We were absolutely dreadful, so thank someone high above that we were able to win this game. Our crossing, set-pieces, passing, awareness, marking, finishing, ball control and positioning left thousands of freezing cold South Walians angry, bemused, and pondering that maybe at last our team was ready to begin the mandatory sailing downstream to the boring reaches of this league when the going gets tough. You know, same shit different season. But at last, from somewhere, heck, maybe even that spiritual person in the sky temporarily seized control of Bothroyd’s misfiring torso and did the deed himself, but yes, from that place and person, we buried a late goal to steal the three points and wallpaper over the cracks of what must rate as one of if not the worst performances of the season (ironically, perhaps another candidate for this title was the reverse fixture of this game! Sturrock seems to have our number…) Still, Plymouth tried bringing in some fringe players and resting others and thus looked fresh, and we stuck with the same XI as on Boxing Day, so maybe a stodgy showing should have been expected and thereafter entirely forgotten.

Now Wales Online refers to Plymouth Argyle as “gutsy”, and that’s hard to argue against. However, ‘profligate’ and ’sloppy’ are more apt judging by what the orange-clad Green Army brought to the table yesterday. More than happy to sit back in a 4-5-1 whilst doubling up on Routledge in order to make him pass the ball back to the wasteful McNaughton or utterly dire Kennedy (depending on which wing he was on the time), Plymouth were able to lull us into a false sense of security on more than one occasion before galloping upfield in a Barcelona-esque 4-2-3-1 with the intent of stinging us on the counter attack. At every level of the game, this only works if you can string passes together and bundle the ball into the net. The Pilgrims really couldn’t: Lionel Messi Jason Puncheon ain’t. As for Mathias Kouo-Doumbe; barely a poor man’s Xavi. A more potent side could have been 3-0 up before we stroked home that late winner. The worst miss (hilariously) was by ex-City Superflop Steve MacLean, who upon being given acres of room after yet another bit of clueless marking from the Bluebirds backline contrived only to tamely head at Enckelman. I shouldn’t laugh at this profligacy though given how ineffectual we were in front of goal before Bothroyd’s late strike.

The most entertaining moment of the game was seeing Romain Larrieu surge forward for a corner deep in stoppages. This had me and many others worried, deja vu can be a right bitch. Thankfully, we managed to come away with the ball, and with Chopra homing in on an open goal, Blackburn Rovers reject David McNamee hacked him down in the most cynical and bloodthirsty fashion. This was gamesmanship at its very worst, a tactic employed on several occasions by the Pilgrims, most notably when Folly did his best to halt one of our attacks by playing dead. Stupidly, he only ended up ruining one of Argyle’s forays into our half! What goes around, etc.

Those on show:

Borderline Average

Jay Bothroyd – Grabbed the winner but was indecisive and wasteful otherwise.

Peter Whittingham – A substitute midway through the second half and added a touch of precision and class but no end-product.

Poor

Gavin Rae – Didn’t lose out in many tackles but his positioning was shocking at times and played one too many stray passes.

Joe Ledley – Started like the proverbial house on fire, and in what might have been his last game for us, I was getting all nostalgic for the times when Joe actually was pretty nifty. Reality is always quick to bite you on the arse, and the young captain did his Richey Edwards impression for the remainder of the game.

Gabor Gyepes – Got nearly everything out of the box that came on the ground and in the air. However, more than played his part in a backline that couldn’t mark a blackboard.

Wayne Routledge – Tactically clueless, but then perhaps operates best in a free role. Needless to say, when everyone else is adhering to a system, Routledge’s slow realisation of the fact that he and Parry had switched or were scheduled to switch neutered some of our attacks. Was closed down quickly on most occasions by the plucky Argyle defence, and rendered futile. Had our best opportunity before the winner but hit it high and wide.

Crap

Roger Johnson – Is guilty on far too many occasions of not being able to hold the line or organise the defence. Too happy to leave opposition players wandering of their own accord in the box.

Michael Chopra – Never alert, lazy, headless chicken chic, wasteful finishing and some poor decision making on the ball.

Paul Parry – His delivery was poor and he didn’t do enough to get into the game.

Absolutely Shocking

Peter Enckelman – Had a few saves to make, which he did primarily because the Argyle attackers cushioned them into his midriff, but other than that Enckelman contrived to kick to touch all afternoon long. It was like a horrible nightmare in which the ghost of Tom Heaton resurfaced.

Kevin McNaughton – Gave the ball away on countless occasions, was caught out of position on so so many Plymouth breaks, and was a chink in the armour that they picked on.

Mark Kennedy – Displayed possibly the worst composure from anyone, ever. Was presented with about 12 opportunities to get the ball in the box, and did so once. Tear-inducing.