Dawn French, Kenneth Branagh, Marianne Faithful, Ricky Gervais, Lenny Henry, Chris Tarrant, Kate Winslet… your boys took one hell of a beating for like, 15 minutes

By: Martyn | November 27th, 2008

A draw at home with a team reduced to 10 men in the first half is not normally considered an alright result by any stretch of the imagination. Reading stretch the imagination beyond normal grey matter boundaries mind, so there are I suppose some positives to take from earning a point against a team we always struggle against. Nevertheless, we ultimately failed to gain ground on a team higher than us in the league – A situation that we must address after also failing to beat Wolves and Brum. If we don’t take something from those above us all season then we can’t afford to lose games like the one we did at Home Park on Saturday. Dave Jones was brave and wise in starting with a 4-3-3 formation, McCormack and Bothroyd nursed back to health in time for this game. Enckelman, Gyepes and Commingues were also brought in to the starting XI. As a result of the attack-minded amending the opening 15 minutes of this game were some of the most sumptuous, fast-paced attacking passing and moving that you’re likely to see anytime anywhere, the cherry on the bakewell tart being Routledge’s quite sublime finish after a Chopra through ball. However, as Dave Jones quite rightly points out their sending off was actually detrimental to us.

Our attack-minded formation – which saw us retain the ball and use it for a change because rather than having to rely on our deep-lying CM to support the attack, Routledge offered us at times a fourth forward and there was always an option ahead of the man on the ball rather than on the side or behind him as is normally the case – was formulated to play against Reading’s similar tactical set-up. After Bikey’s semi-harsh sending off though, Noel Hunt was summoned to floss his privates in the changing rooms with a lot more space to manoeuvre than he would have been afforded come the ref’s (another crap one who had no control over the game and its lack of discipline) final peep, and consequently Reading packed the midfield: Something we detest and cannot muster anything against. Their 4-4-1 hand forced us into a 4-4-2 and multiple dead-ends. We were like Stevie Wonder in a maze. Although the 4-3-3 we started with was both obvious and visionary, switching to a 4-4-2 was more unfortunate but equally required. We needed to get something from a game we threatened to throw away after conceding an equalizer on the break and a second after some quick Reading thinking and continuing with 4-3-3 would have offered them more of the ball than comfort allows. Some of our build-up play was patient and canny (for example, some of the booing when we passed it around the team was a bit silly and impatient because on the few occasions it happened we actually seemed to end up with something to show for our retention like a FK or CK!), but then it also became sloppy and brainless as the game died a slow and inevitable 2-2 death. They closed the space, we went direct, and yeah I think you’ve all seen similar games with your own teams. It’s never pretty, it’s never productive. Yet teams still persist with trying it. Why?!

Peter Enckelman – I cannot express how relaxing it was to have a goalie who can do the basics. Other than that, the lightbuld-topped Finn was barely troubled and at fault for neither goal. 5

Miguel Comminges – His delivery was woefully inconsistent and caused many-a-fan to do that thing when we throw our arms down in a guillotine fashion, spin around and give those watching the game with you a half exasperated, half gurning chimp look. 5

Gabor Gyepes – Impresssive and solid. Did make one howler mind when he let a Reading attacker slip through his grasp but quickly remedied the situation. 7.5

Roger Johnson – Awful. Makes you pray that Dennehy is half-good so we can drop this clown ’til he learns how to pass. 1.5

Mark Kennedy – One of those games where you struggle to remember Kennedy doing anything. Actually, he almost scored! Which would have been rare gem! Other than that, it’s all escaping me. Which might be a good thing seeing as he’s a full-back. 5

Wayne Routledge – The best thing is, he looks like he has come here to play! Sometimes when Routledge has the ball the opposition simply can’t peel it off his foot. It’s stuck like adhesive-flavoured chewing gum. His goal was a work of art, a sublime finish to cap a wonderfully crafted move. Routledge faded in the second half mind, but his injections of pace, cracking delivery, stretching the opposition and finding yards that no one else in this division possibly can meant that Routledge of the First Half lingered long in the post-match pint memory. On this showing, if I was offered the chance to secure the signing of anyone who’s name is Wayne followed by the first two letters of their surname being Ro, it’d definitely be the best poster-boy for blue eyes since Mr Sinatra, ..utledge! Not that bald potato who plays for Manchester United, that’s for sure. 8.5

Gavin Rae – Second-best in every possible department as has been the case for the entire season. 3

Stephen McPhail – His set-piece delivery was of a decent standard, but he’s still garbage when it doesn’t involve kicking a ball that has no motion. 4.5

Ross McCormack – Did little else other than score the penalty. A rare quite night, though showed one or two flashes of his genius. 7

Jay Bothroyd – He was certainly one of our most involved players, and clearly relished having three runners that were willing to go in behind him or with him. Got booked needlessly after trying to poke the ball away from the Reading GK during a standard hoof upfield. Everyone knows it’s a foul, so why bother? Cracked one in from long range, but that was as far as his goal threat went. Altogether, one of those showings where if we had been on the backfoot and playing crap I would probably give him a rating of 3 due to the lack of a goal threat. As we drew and he didn’t do anything else offensive, I’ll give him a 6.

Michael Chopra – Provided an awesome assist for Routledge’s opener, won the penalty with some tenacious annoying little bastard battling qualities and was full of running, clearly relishing playing in such an attack-minded system. There aren’t many better than Chopra in the division when it comes to running at goal with the ball at his feet and his eyes trained on the goalie, and although he struggled to maintain such penetration as Reading parked the team bus in front of the goal in the second period he was still more than willing to salvage something for the team from this game. Probably deserved the PK goal more than McCormack did, but after the Sunderland striker missed his last one and what with Kevin Doyle getting further ahead at the top of the scoring leader board there was only ever one candidate to resume spot-kick duties. 8

Eddie Johnson – I’d say he did nothing because he wasn’t given enough time, but if he had stayed on the pitch at Ninian Park after the match had finished and everyone had got home I’m sure he’d still struggle to do anything. His presence on the pitch can maybe sum up today’s youth – lost without technology. I mean, he has no I-pod to detach himself from the world with, and scoring goals is so easy on Pro Evo, but in real-life, maaaaan, it’s tough shit. 4.5

Darcy Blake – Has no quality whatsoever and in his last two appearances at Ninian Park (in two different positions, CM and RB) he has flattered only to deceive. The archetypal young footballer: Confident, fast, as persistent as a fly at your lunchtime sandwich and has battling qualities that would put the deputies of William Wallace to shame. But these attributes can only carry you so fr in the game especially seeing as most will fade of evaporate in the next few years. His distribution is as bad as Roger Johnson’s and he has a tendency to panic when put on that thing we play the game with. Do they use balls in the academy? 3.5