…easy as 123, simple as Do-Re-Mi!

By: Martyn | July 30th, 2009

Prior to the start of the 2008/09 campaign, I compiled an A-Z list of what I suspected would be people, elements and facets germane to Cardiff City during that forthcoming August-May period. So while my predictions or high hopes of and for John Brown, Darcy Blake, Tony Capaldi, Stephen McPhail, promotion, Riccy Scimeca, a steady goalkeeper, decent officiating, a round 3 cup exit, exciting football and an end to inconsistency may have abstained from fruition, I did forecast the importance of improved free-kick distribution, Portsmouth drawing AC Milan in the now defunct UEFA Cup (a competition we missed out on by virtue of losing the FA Cup final), and the benefits of half-decent training facilities! Okay, so the misdirected stabs in the dark far outweigh those that connected, but heck, it was about time Ninian Park saw a few decent refs and we’d always churned out one super starlet in previous footballing calendar years! Besides, if one could guess everything set to happen in an impending season it’d make tuning in pretty darn irrelevant. Therefore, I have all the justification I need to present the sequel! 26 letters, 26 ingredients that will concoct and characterise our season. Maybe.

A is for away form. It was pretty adequate last season – barring several exceptions at the close – so let’s hope it continues.

B is for BBC. They too, along with Sky, will now persist in annoying us by switching games to coincide with Church.

C is for Cardiff Blues. Will the egg-chasers prove to be the kind of tenants you look forward to sharing a beer with after work, or the type who leave the milk out of the fridge?

D is for Dagenham & Redbridge. The team City will face in the first round of the Carling Cup. Given that fringe players are likely to monopolise game-time here, Dallying with the Daggers will provide City fans with the opportunity to assess the squad’s depth.

E is for EDDIE EDDIE! Alas, the Yankee donkey has departed. Following in the recent footsteps of Robbie Fowler and Kevin Campbell, Eddie Johnson was paid an extortionate amount per week to offer diddly-squat bar gallows humour for the Bluebirds faithful. So who will this season’s Eddie/white elephant be?

F is for formation. Dave Jones looks set to retain his favoured fluid four-four-two. Jones – a man not renowned for his tactical flexibility – clearly has the Championship sussed to a certain degree, but nevertheless, the cleverer tacticians are the ones who know when minor tweaking is necessary and then act on this intuition. Will the Liverpudlian dare ditch his tried and tested formation if the team experiences a rough patch during either a run of poor results or a match we are being outclassed in?

G is for Gyepes/Gerrard. The new CB-pairing?

H is for harmony. An important characteristic in any squad, and one the manager always looks to maintain by offloading anyone he falls out with. See Quincy, McCormack, Purse and Alexander. By working with small squads during his entire tenure at the club, DJ has been lucky in not upsetting too many egos as playing space is available more often than not. See McPhail, Parry and Chopra. However, something clearly went wrong within the group during the eventual capitulation suffered at the tail-end of 08/09, so let’s hope all are rowing in the same direction from August to May this time round.

I is for injuries. McNaughton has one already, Burke likes picking them up, and as Burnley found out in fulfilling their richest dreams, a paucity of them makes for a pretty rewarding conclusion. I’m just praying Sean Connelly ends the season covered in cobwebs or an addiction to pressing F5 on Facebook and office-worker’s bane, Solitaire.

J is for Jack bastards. Our rivalry with them resumes. Hopefully sans Mike Dean-wounding.

K is for kryptonite. Ours being any semblance of creativity in the centre of midfield and thus a plan B to go with the overly-utilized wings ideal.

L is for locker rooms. Swish new ones for the players to dangle their genitals out and compare sizes! Will the new plush new facilities that differ vastly from the run-down and cramped ones over the road see the players taking the field with a greater sense of professionalism or an overly-casual manner?

M is for Marshall, David. Will the former Celtic custodian finally fill the consistent ‘keeper void? And bad puns aside, will he able to marshal the troops adeptly? With Purse and Johnson gone, someone has to.

N is for national team call-ups. The inclusion of Miguel Comminges in the ~~Guacamole~~ Guadeloupe squad for the Gold Cup has already affected our pre-season plans, so the schematics of this issue are already on the proverbial table. Likewise, nation representation is also likely to see Dave and Terry field an absurdly depleted team for the cup tie with Essex upstarts Dagenham. And Redbridge. I hadn’t forgotten you guys! With Scotland (Marshall, McNaughton, Quinn, Burke, Rae), Hungary (Gyepes) and Republic of Ireland (McPhail…. pfft, ok maybe not) all still in contention to qualify for next summer’s World Cup Finals, lengthy plane journeys and subsequent disruptions to our domestic campaign could become something of a nuisance.

O is for off-season. How adequate has the preparation been? Despite remaining unbeaten with just the one game left (Valencia at home on Saturday), will a Portuguese jaunt and games against Champions League-calibre sides have provided sufficient team and fitness building come the busy, stiff bits of the season?

P is for Perfect Pitch. The turf at Ninian Park was by everyone’s account, fantastic. The low stands and unevenness of said pitch accounted for this and made the pitchfork-wielding gardeners at our club the envy of Alan Titchmarsh-ites nationwide. However, in the wake of moving to a new ground, will the playing surface and groundsmen be able to maintain such luscious green rectangular-ism with a more wind-blocked design and ground-sharing eye-gouging egg-chasers on board?

Q is for Paul Quinn. His arrival ensures that Mark Kennedy is consigned to the reserves, as well as hopefully adding a new dimension to our play in that we can attack with greater flair, pace and sharpness in pairs down either flank.

R is for Ridsdale, Peter. With “Call me Pete” once noting that he’d depart upon completion of the new arena, coupled with the fact that rumours indicate all is not well on his private business front, this season is likely to be the last under the watchful eye of the Yorkshireman.

S is for Spotlight. With Roy Keane at Ipswich Town, Newcastle United being Newcastle United and Chelsea-in-nappies QPR still whetting the media’s appetite, we’ll presumably avoid distracting and needless pressure-inflicting detection from said beam!

T is for Tricep Attire. Hudson gets some, after being pencilled in for having a (C) written after his name all season long.

U + V is for UV Rays. Will continued exposure to these start to affect Joe Ledley’s form? Seriously, has anyone seen him recently?! I like my toast a little burnt as much as the next man, but there comes a point when you conclude that the toast is torched beyond the point of consumption. If Ledley’s tan increases any further from this negligent overexposure to the sun there’s a danger he might end up in Hollywood as Arnie’s skin double. Stay out of the sun, Joseph, your skin will thank you for it in a few decades’ time. Another way that UV rays may affect Cardiff City’s season is if their chief target Phil Brown completes the inevitable capture of Ross McCormack on transfer deadline day, thus leaving us with minimal time and funds to replace him.

W is for Welsh identity. Or the paucity of it? With the probable City career terminations of both Joe Ledley and Paul Parry, the first choice XI for the coming campaign is unlikely to feature a single man born in the confines of Cymru. When this purging of Welshness is compounded with the likely severance of ties with the FAW, has the rapidity of globalisation affected our club even further, permeating as it does, every molecule of life and culture?

X is for X-factor. Who’ll have it? My tip is Chris Burke.

Y is for youngsters. No, not the ones who cheerfully greet visiting supporters with slit-throat gestures and stumpy middle fingers, but the more mature ones who do the playing. Next in line to the breakthrough throne is Josh Magennis. Magennis is Irish. The Irish like Guinness. A famous Guinness advertising slogan was My Goodness, My Guinness. Therefore, I hope that the youngster breaks into the first-team fold and does something climatic just so I can whip out the headline, ‘MY GOODNESS, MAGENNIS!’

Z is for zenith. Is ours promotion?