FLC Predictions and Guide Part 1: Positions 19-24

By: Martyn | August 3rd, 2008

Over the course of the next four days, I’ll give you a semi-guide to the teams that comprise this year’s Championship division, ranked in order of how I believe they’ll finish come the end of the season. I’ll post 6 teams a day, starting from the (blindly guessed) bottom and working upwards. In the long paragraphs I use to sum up the team’s chances for the coming season, I’ll attempt to justify my perceived placings, and emphasize the areas that team may struggle or excel in. By Main Man I refer to who I believe will be the MVP of that team over the course of the 46-game slog. The player the team will truly miss should a suspension or injury strike. My tip for Surprise Man won’t just refer to promising youngsters, but perhaps someone whose career is moribund and will use this season to well and truly burst back into the public eye. When I write the manager name of the featured team with a number positioned to their immediate right, I refer to the likelihood of them being sacked first. I can refer back to this guide myself whenever relevant, more than likely to find out how hopelessly incorrect I have been! So there you have it. Devour, use, disagree and enjoy!

19. Burnley
20. Nottingham Forest
21. Preston North End
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22. Doncaster Rovers
23. Blackpool
24. Barnsley

(19). Burnley - In the past year, they’ve lost two strikers in Andy Gray (much felt), and Kyle Lafferty. Whilst the latter was never wholly consistent in the Claret-dyed shirt, there’s no doubting that his fragmented exceptional talent would soon begin to stitch together and form a sweater. Burnley seem to have difficulties in getting a striker banging them in throughout an entire season, rather than in patches. And as epitomised by Gray’s departure, when one does get a bit of consistency, he’s promptly snapped up. Still, they have a fair few strikers on their books, so perhaps one of them will be a paragon of form. It’s always, always difficult to try and second-guess what the Clarets will do mind. They’re so hopelessly Championship, they’re beyond lodging; they have deeds and everything. But they continually menacingly tease their fans by threatening to climb the property ladder. Once again, investment has been made, and once again, the Lancashire-based side presage to make a dent in the bumper of the more established and privileged heavyweights. Terminating at Burnley Station are Martin Paterson, City target Remco Van Der Schaaf, Kevin McDonald, Christian Kalvenes, Diego Penny, and the much-sought after and admired Manchester United product Chris Eagles. All could prove invaluable to the squad this season. However: The centre-midfield still looks a bit brittle, and watching Burnley on the few occasions that I managed last season they struggled to dominate a game in that area. Maybe Van Der Schaaf will change that, but if he doesn’t, it’s effectively a big hole for the opposition to exploit. The other reason I believe Burnley will finish so low is because there is always one side with a tasty looking squad that suffers a slow start and never seems to get over it until it dawns on them, ‘Holy Cow, League One’s at the end of the tunnel’. Sure, they’ll survive, but they’ll have fans choking on their hot-pots on more than one occasion.
Main Man - Graham Alexander. Preston’s loss was their near neighbour’s gain. A lower league football servant, but don’t let the title take anything away from the Coventry-born Scot cap because he puts in an admirable shift whatever strip he hoists over his head. A great player to have round the dressing room, and one the young Clarets can aspire to emulate and receive advice from.
Surprise Man - Besart Berisha. It’s such a shame that he missed last season in it’s entirety as the Albanian - a snip at £340k - has the potential to light up the Championship. Clarets fans: Enjoy him while you can, because when this lad cranks it up to fifth gear, he’ll be promptly lassoed into the next league up by one of the cowboys.
Owen Coyle - 16th. Had the strange record of overseeing an excellent team on the road, but a stuttering team at home last season. Ultimately, the fickle fans don’t tend to go to away games, so continued poor Turf Moor showings wouldn’t be tolerated. All the same, the St. Johnstone man won’t be the first sacked.

(20). Nottingham Forest - FACT: Clubs With Robert Earnshaw Are Doom Magnets - and by that I don’t mean they attract swarms of archaic PC video games flying in their direction. Derby County, West Bromwich Albion, Norwich City, and now Forest. Yup, City legend Earnie certainly knows how to pick ‘em. Perhaps it says something about the player himself though. Can teams afford to carry someone who is as opposite to the meaning of Team Player as chalk is to cheese? It seems not, so why Forest have decided to take such a ludicrous gamble is a little ominous, especially if Earnie doesn’t locate his AWOL scoring boots. Continuing on the pessimistic note, Colin Calderwood isn’t exactly brimming with the support of Forest followers, the defence looks hopelessly weak, Andrew Cole must be on a fairly steep wage for someone who’ll offer little (IMO), and the club is bound to feel the losses of Sammy Clingan (Norwich) and Kris Commons. The latter’s departure in particular doesn’t half taste sour: He’ll be lining up for hated nemeses Derby from August. There isn’t really that much positive to add to the case of Forest. The loss of Junior Agogo to Egyptian side Zamalek isn’t as bad as perhaps superficially appears: he barely played for Forest last year due to injuries and African Cup of Nations participation. However, I do believe that they’ll stay up. By the very stems of their teeth skin. Will they go a whole year without hearing that they were once European champions? Nope. Will they have to consistently put up with the nigh-on prefix Sleeping Giant? Yes. Will the achievement and platform for elevation made by staying up be achieved with Calderwood at the helm? Nope.
Main Man - Paul Smith. One of English football’s most shockingly underrated goalkeepers. Never got the chance he deserved at Southampton due to the form of Finnish phenomenon Niemi. Since Smith has been granted first team regularity in the Midlands, he’s well and truly been galvanised. He’ll be busy, but he’s more than up to the task.
Surprise Man - Lewis McGugan. Local lad come good. Showed more revealing and cracking flashes in his first full League One campaign than a montage of streakers at Wimbledon down the years. The youngster will relish the step up and further cement his reputation as a terrace favourite.
Colin Calderwood - 2nd. The ex-Spurs defender can’t enjoy any sun owing to the dark cloud of pessimism that hovers over him omnipresently. Beyond any doubt is the fact that he would have been sacked had Forest not gained promotion, and that achievement was half-down to a late falter on behalf of their rivals. Recent Forest setbacks can in part be attributed to his negative tactics. He’s bought himself some time, but how much is questionable and probably irrelevant.

(21). Preston North End - The Lilywhites seamlessly nutshell the oft-seen club that threatens to rupture the moneyed stronghold of bigger boys hovering around by the Premier League revolving door, and hope to do so not only on a stringent budget, but by cashing in on their brighter lights. The consequence? The squad ends up being compiled from lesser lights, and the lesser league positions beckon. And thus, North End now find themselves as demotion strugglers, as opposed to the shoe-in play-off position proprietors of a few seasons back. The club of Sir Tom Finney and a fêted and haughty history is now the club of Neil Mellor, Chris Brown (a signing as pointless as a condom machine in a Catholic church - what exactly does the ex-Norwich donkey bring to the table!?) and a sparse, non-atmospheric amphitheatre. To regenerate as a half-decent team, I’d say hefty investment needs to be made without further ado. They can’t lust after the vain idea of being a mere simulacrum, it’s all about being Michael Jackson, not Jermaine. This summer, the club should have been busier than an out-of-town shopping centre on the weekend, but in actuality, it’s been about as eventful as a Cliff Richard concert. A dogged, experienced but not elderly centre-half, a lightening-quick winger (credit where its due - Ross Wallace might be a good capture), a rabbit-out-of-hat conjuring centre-midfield magician to ease the burden on Whaley’s shoulders, and two top quality strikers would be ample procures. What, one wonders, would the club rather: Clutching at straws in a penurious manner in the vain hope of clinging onto another year in the Championship, or showing a bit of promise and injecting fresh blood, buoyancy and resilience into a club that is flat out on the floor in the midst of a staid cardiac arrest? They’ll need the majority of their workforce playing to the very perimeter of their individual abilities in order to stay up, and if truth be told, I can see them doing it; albeit by goal difference or a solitary point. Nevertheless, such a dearth and paucity of talent will continue to blight the Lancashire outfit into the next half decade or so (in spite of the rapid footballing winds of change, I truly believe the Preston board have planted a slow-burning club-polluting bomb), and will prolong their habitation as the club that was once jumping over the moon with the cow and narrowly being edged out in the World’s Richest Game, to potentially running away to League One with the dish and the (wooden) spoon. The only difference being that this wouldn’t be a nursery rhyme: It’d be reality harsher than necking a pint of rum on an achingly incapacitating, sofa-slumped-and-This-Morning-watching hangover. So then, it’s not just Deepdale, its deep sh*t too.
Main Men - Paul McKenna/Simon Whaley. The former joined Preston millenniums ago, possibly back when Jesus was in the midst of puberty; deep voiced, acne-faced and facially bum-fluffed. Maybe Christ even toyed with a few piercings and plastered his bedroom walls in Nirvana posters. I digress. McKenna plays a pivotal role in the Lilywhites side along with fellow mainstay Simon Whaley, and their compounded experience and resoluteness respectively will be as invaluable as it always is.
Surprise Man - Karl Hawley. He’ll finally remember that he once scored (Mc)flurries of goals for Carlisle.
Alan Irvine - 19th. After guiding the Robin Reliant to the sanctity of the nearest garage, the ex-Everton no. 2 will be given time.

(22). Doncaster Rovers - We enter the realm of the tri-fluted garbage chute, and the final fatality to traverse this brakeless slide will be one of the newbies. In spite of the legitimacy that it was Sean O’Driscoll (he of the initials SOD. A copy of When Saturday Comes recently alerted my attention to this - there’ll be no plagiarism here, “Dr.” Raj - and the fact that he does not display these initials on his official team track top, funnily enough!) who finally got them out of the parapenultimate tier, credit must go to Dave Penney. The present Darlington hot-seat incumbent so valiantly led the Yorkshire club out of the Conference and League Two, as well as overseeing a memorable League Cup campaign. Undeniably, Penney set the promotion outta League One ball rolling. But enough of the past, because it’s the present that matters for Rovers, and sadly, it won’t be a present of the happy and wrapped Christmas and birthday variety. When a club breaks its transfer record in preparation for the season and it’s a mere £300k, the signs are ominous. Such a tight budget wouldn’t necessarily have to be a bad thing if the squad itself looked capable of making strides, but in all honesty it doesn’t. At all. Darren Byfield and James Hayter are just too inconsistent to bang in enough goals, Jason Price and Paul Heffernan don’t have the required ability to succeed at this level, Mark Wilson - who has had more clubs than a caveman - is past it, and having seen midfielder Brian Stock represent Wales, he looks a tad naïve and lightweight. You must also question the managerial know-how of Sean O’Driscoll: The fine and victorious play-off finals campaign aside, Rovers conspired wonderfully to avoid going up automatically. Therefore, will SOD have it in him to pull the team out of the doldrums of sequences of dire results? It’s negatively questionable. The weak midfield (woundingly pained by the loss of Paul Green to Derby) will be the way to unzip the Doncaster Rovers jacket, and many teams won’t find the task shatteringly trying. They’ll be plucky, they’ll get a surprise result over one of the top 6 maybe once or twice, and John Spicer and Adam Lockwood will more than hold their own. But as positives go, that’ll be it.
Main Man - John Spicer. A player with genuine Championship class - an atypical phenomenon for O’Driscoll - this anomaly and ex-Burnley bloke will have to drive his less knowledgeable team mates forward as often as he can in pursuit of precious points.
Surprise Man - Gordon Greer. The ex-Kilmarnock defender has been blighted by injuries and setbacks, but if he maintains a clean bill of health this coming season, he could provide a bit of respite for goalkeeper Neil Sullivan and finger nail-chewing Donny supporters.
Sean O’Driscoll - 14th. While I wouldn’t be altogether that surprised to see O’Driscoll given the chop first seeing as I believe his team are in for an unrelenting struggle over the entire course of the season, surely the Rovers board realise that any lofty aspirations are merely blind and ostentatious, and paying out for a sacking will only be a detriment in the long run?

(23). Blackpool - The Seasiders have committed suicide. The Jugular has been cut twice via the sales of the club’s two biggest assets: defender Kaspars Gorkss (who not only prevented more than the 64 goals in the Championship table’s ‘A’ bar, but scored 6 himself) and midfielder Wes Hoolahan (weighed in with 5 goals and numerous assists). That the former had a mere £250k release clause in his contract speaks volumes and shows the kind of small fish in the zoo’s aquarium section tank that Blackpool really are. Clubs the size of Blackpool are sadly more susceptible to being held to ransom than British consumers are by energy companies. Recent recruitments Daniel Nardiello and Zesh Rehman (sweeteners in the Gorkss deal from QPR) do little to inspire fresh emissions of hope and sanguinity: the former being a spluttering striker, the latter being a defender who’s seeing his career take a nosedive. I must confess that Blackpool are the only team I failed to see live or for a full 90 minutes last season: The midweek winter game at Bloomfield Road didn’t appeal, and I was in Milan during the weekend of the home tie against the Tangerines (the only home game I failed to catch other than the Fifth Round FA Cup tie vs. Wolves). Add to that the fact I always seemed to miss them whenever they were one of the Saturday teatime or Monday night live TV games. However, I did see 3 or 4 of their games in their League One promotion season, so I have a vague idea of how the cogs get the machine going. Looking at their squad, you’re hoping to see a few that will jump out at you and scream “WHO’S THE DADDY?!”. You’d want goalscorers, someone to take the game by the scruff of the neck, and someone to keep things ticking over in the heart of the midfield: Send all application forms and CV’s to Bloomfield Road, Blackpool, England, please. Ben Burgess will have his work cut out adding to his club-leading 9 goals of last year, and players such as ever-present man Shaun Barker will find their work is all for nothing come the conclusion of the 08/09 campaign. Life will well and truly be a beach to the Seasiders.
Main Man - Steve Kabba. Head and shoulders above his new colleagues in terms of experience and represented clubs, Kabba will play his part but won’t be around to tidy up after the flat party.
Surprise Man - Michael D’Agostino. The young Canadian impressed while on loan at Cheltenham Town, and may be given the chance to shine this year.
Simon Grayson - 23rd. Highly regarded in the football world owing to the kind of football he has instilled into an average Blackpool team, Karl Oyston won’t be calling any immediate late night board meetings to discuss the manager’s future.

(24). Barnsley - Welcome to Barnsley: the home of archetypal Northern accents and a football team set to seize a monopoly on bottom spot. FA Cup semi-finalists-cum-Championship-how-the-f*ck-are-you-still-here exactly’ers? That was last season, but I don’t believe things will improve for the Tykes. For a start, I’m yet to gauge the virtues of Simon Davey. What are his managerial credentials? If that’s a a false start, then the retaken one has me questioning the potential cultural disparity in the squad. With 13 different nationalities in the squad, the Yorkshire outfit have more nationalities than the Brangelina household. And this, ultimately, is where I believe the problems set in. Is Davey, a lower league midfielder by original trade, the man to get everyone ploughing the same field? He failed to integrate Peruvians and Hungarians into the squad. Are Iain Hume and Kayode Odejayi the men to get the goals needed? Will Brian Howard stick around? Do they have a midfield capable of grabbing a game by the scruff of the neck? I answer no to all of the above, and fully expect the Tykes to hover hopelessly in the shadows of everybody else. The buying of goalkeepers has been prudent and efficient business-acting over the last year or so, yes, but elsewhere, the team is more pick n’ mix than clicking the random option on Windows Media Player. Likewise, the signing of Darren Moore is a bigger mistake than dropping the soap in the shower, and humiliating pre-season friendly pastings have brought more indignation than the kind china shop owners reserve for bulls. Beatings such as the one against Wigan also deliver the shuddering kind of premonition one doesn’t want to see as their team prepares to penetrate the new season. It will be goodbye to the team championed by the likes Dickie Bird and Michael Parkinson: yikes for the Tykes!
Main Man - Brian Howard. Without question, the fulcrum of the side: But how long will the highly sought after Cockney remain the big fish in the small Barnsley pond?
Surprise Man - Hugo Colace. Once Captain of the Argentinian U20 side that won the Youth World Cup (a team that featured the likes of Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano), Colace’s career has stalled. Perhaps a move to England will prove beneficial in rediscovering a love for the beautiful game.
Simon Davey - 6th. FA Cup heroics over the likes of Liverpool and Chelsea will forever gift his CV an element of romance, longevity, and minor justification, but the most telling question is the one that probes into Davey’s ability to manage a league team. The aforementioned Cup triumphs will buy him time and probably prevent him from being first sacked. I can’t imagine him seeing the season out mind.