Football League Championship predictions with lemon

By: Martyn | August 6th, 2009

Rather than compete with the stupendously good Championship preview compiled by the Plymouth blog’s helmsman, Jim, I’ve decided to take an alternative approach. One thing this division is noted for is its unpredictability, and the old cliché about anyone being able to beat everyone on their day isn’t necessarily a lazy cop-out. So using it as an excuse to kill some (rainy-day) time before work, I hit upon the idea of writing every team’s name on a sheet of paper, cutting them out, folding into quarters, and then placing each of the 24 slips into a cereal bowl. From then on, the first team drawn was *my* prediction for champions, and so on and so on. Not only did the premise excite me (the Neil Buchanan-loving child in me would doff its Yankees cap), but I’m fascinated to see how supposedly utterly random this league can be! Here are the ahem, findings. I’ll return to this post at the end of the season to see if the thoroughly researched and wonderfully thought out predictions of Jim tally more matches than my blind-eyed cereal bowl-dipping hand did!

1. Middlesbrough (P)
2. Bristol City (P)
3. Barnsley
4. Newcastle United
5. Reading
6. Preston North End

7. Leicester City
8. Blackpool
9. Coventry City
10. Swansea City
11. Derby County
12. Nottingham Forest

13. Watford
14. Scunthorpe
15. Ipswich Town
16. Doncaster Rovers
17. Sheffield Wednesday
18. Peterborough

19. Cardiff City
20. West Bromwich Albion
21. Sheffield United
22. Plymouth (R)
23. Crystal Palace (R)
24. Queens Park Rangers (R)

44, 000 eyes will be watching City’s opener against Scunthorpe. If the team finishes anywhere near 19th, expect the new stadium to have lost at least five-figures worth of retinas come the final home match against the Owls. Up on Teeside, Southgate will be as revered as those North Koreans back in the 60s! Meanwhile, it’s curtains for rich man plaything QPR, with West Brom and the Blades seeing crowds and morale drop by the week as they seek to avoid joining Leeds United’s division.

Although pre-season predictions are ultimately baseless, easy and trivial, they’re still rather fun to do and offer a wonderful way of instigating debate in the footballing community. Plus, even if it is the most meagre form of justification one can offer for what’s coming up, I did all the divisions last season (some of the teams I correctly predicted success for include Burton Albion, Barcelona, Bordeaux, and Wolves).

Guesswork at the rest of the Football League leagues and upper-echelon European counterparts

Premier League champions: Manchester United
Champions League qualifiers: Liverpool, Manchester City, Chelsea
Europa League qualifiers: Everton, Arsenal
Premier League relegated: Stoke City, Hull City, Burnley

League One automatic promotion: Milwall, Norwich City
League One play-off contenders: MK Dons, Leeds United, Brentford, Leyton Orient
League One relegated: Wycombe Wanderers, Yeovil Town, Tranmere Rovers, Stockport County

League Two automatic promotion: Rotherham, Grimsby, Notts County
League Two play-off contenders: Bury, Chesterfield, Lincoln City, Shrewsbury Town
League Two relegated: Darlington, Accrington Stanley

FA Cup: Liverpool
Carling Cup: Everton
Football League Trophy: Southampton

Champions League: Barcelona
Europa League: Hertha BSC
Bundesliga: Bayern Munchen
La Liga: Barcelona
Ligue 1: Olympique Marseille
Serie A: Juventus

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p.s. This is very interesting, and very modern. All the best teams (i.e. the most marketable and financially lucrative ones) have such systems in place nowadays, so if we’re to compete on an even footing it was a necessary step. It may be a kick in the teeth for traditionalists, but with the club’s hairy financial situations over the past decade(s), anyone willing to inject money into the club (and anyone with money made aware of its potential) can only be a good thing. Right?

p.p.s. Less of a kick in the teeth and a more of a cuddle for the traditionalists this one. Ala West Bromwich Albion last season, as well as every team before whiz-kids in the 1980s decided that we’d all be influenced to buy certain types of paint because we saw the company logo flapping over Glenn Hoddle’s intestines.

p.p.p.s. Yes Marsh, they are a decent bunch as far as this level goes. But are there enough of them?! I don’t count Warren Feeney. In fact, if we resort to slinging him on at any point of the campaign I’ll know its time for me depart the ground. So when the inevitable McCormack sale is completed, we’ll be left with TWO strikers. Yes, two (Chopra and Bothroyd). Parry was the only other potential striker in our squad, but now he’s up in hotpot land. That is some pitiful depth. Maybe *my* 19th placed prediction wasn’t so negative/daft after all…