Snouts in the trough mein?By: Martyn | November 26th, 2009
This xenophobic take on an overused metaphor doesn’t correspond to yesterday’s news that we teetered on insolvency. Or does it…? One wonders where exactly the money the club makes goes. I mean, Chopra aside, we never spend any of it on transfers. Perhaps certain someones at the club have pockets with an unnatural bulge (oh behave).
The mystery of life itself is probably the biggest enigma of all. The question of why (Mark) Hudson’s Bomberman has yet to be recruited by Al Qaeda runs it a close second in my opinion mind. However, clambering up the podium must surely be why ownership of football clubs is a position exclusive to astonishingly incompetent idiots. They inhabit clubs at all levels: from Tom Hicks and George Gillett purchasing Liverpool with a £185m loan they then chain to the club itself, to the you-couldn’t-make-’em-up escapades of Stephen Vaughan at Chester City.
Not content with hogging the moron limelight, the men they employ to administer the latest page in their portfolio are equally inept. Take our chairman, Peter Ridsdale, for example. Ridsdale is “delighted“ that nemesis of The Beatles and The Kinks, Mr Taxman, has given us 70 days to pay off “monies that were outstanding from the past“. So erm, this wasn’t a debt pinned on us out of the blue then gents? Well forgive me for not accepting a flute of champagne, but I fail to see why I should be delighted at the fact my club came this close to being wound up over a debt we were in control of?! While many simply seek to save face, this club saves farce.
Aforementioned references to Malaysians and club owners haven’t been entirely inconsequential or detached from the rest of this post. Dato Chan Tien Ghee, who as far as I’m aware hasn’t undergone the controversial Fit and Proper Person Test, has been awarded a chair in the boardroom. A takeover by the Malaysian property tycoon is more than likely, apparently.
Gushes the Yorkshire goldfish connoisseur: “The fact that TG has accepted this appointment demonstrates the confidence that exists that Cardiff City Football Club can, with the right level of additional investment, whether directly or through the broader global commercial opportunities, become an established top-flight football club.“
He must be trustworthy because Ridsdale feels the need to abbreviate his name to an acronym. Only nice, cuddly things get acronyms in football. Like JT, or MK Dons. On the global political stage, maybe the paucity of a shortened name is North Korea’s problem. Compass points are so like, boring. If they rebranded themselves as N:K, there’d be a bouncy castle, Black Lace and biscuits in the Demilitarized Zone within seconds.
Says Tien Ghee: “I can help to provide Cardiff City with the additional resources to achieve the ambition of attaining Premier football and of making City a household name across the Asian continent.”
Sod all that development mumbo-jumbo matey: hiring someone who’ll run down the post office and post the bills on time will do!
Not content with taking Darren Purse off our hands, Sheffield Wednesday have now relieved us of Warren Feeney! Seriously Dave, spill the beans. Whatever you have on Brian Laws must be juicy.
Sworn enemy of the prawn, Roy Keane, brings his Ipswich Town side to Ninian Park this Sunday. The game is scheduled for the weekend’s second day because a group of Welshmen have invited fifteen Australasians over to chase an egg on Saturday. Anything but a win would be a disgrace given that Keane’s outfit are a shambles with just one win to their name all season. But then need I remind City fans of this. Or this. Or the fact that we employ Kennedy, Hudson, and Rae. Shudder.