So how many kids will want ‘Bent’ written on the back of their shirts then?

By: Martyn | July 14th, 2008

We have signed 7 players so far this summer. It puts us on a par with the average Championship club’s transaction frequency, but we’re trailing in the roadrunner-esque steam left behind in the paths of say Swansea and Derby, especially when you consider the holes we need to plug.

The first signing, Miguel Comminges, is a 26 year old full-back who played on a regular basis for Swindon Town in League One last season. With a Dutchman and a Frenchman now set to possibly line-up in our back 4, our defence is starting to gain a continental feel, albeit with it the added Anglo-Saxon grit and tenacity of Roger Johnson and Kevin McNaughton.

Also set to dance his studs over the hallowed turf of Ninian Park is goalkeeper, Tom Heaton. I must admit, when I saw the headline ‘Cardiff sign Man Utd goalkeeper’, I got rather excited as I immediately thought it must be Kuzsczak or Foster (seeing as it’s Van der Sar’s last season, the other two will require game time in order to battle for the no. 1 jersey in the 09/10 season). However, it turned out to be neither of the stalling-yet-fledgling pair, and so all judgement is reserved at present on Heaton’s arrival. I suppose he has to have something about him to be on Man Utd’s books though? Saying that, Kasper Schmeichel had clearly never learned how to kick a ball in the Man City academy, and Middlesborough’s Ross Turnbull was prone to the occasional mishap. We haven’t had the best of luck when it comes to finding a decent goalkeeper this century. If you locked Mark Walton, Tony Warner, Michael Oakes, David Forde, Ross Turnbull and Carl Muggleton in a sealed padded-wall room with only a deadly influenza virus for company, I’m convinced that not one of them would even catch a cold.

Elsewhere on the goalkeeping front, it wasn’t just David Forde heading off into the Milwall-tinted sunset, but veteran Michael Oakes too. I can’t say I’m too disappointed by either decision, as Forde just looked entirely out of his depth, and Oakes had a disturbing attachment to his line. The gentleman who finished as our season as number one, Peter Enckleman, became our third summer signing after penning a two-year deal (which is surely an achievement considering how much Jonesy loves his one-year romances). Although I believe the Finn could be a good back-up GK at this level, I don’t believe that any Championship team with serious aspirations of going up over 46 games can afford to accommodate him. He failed to impress me when called into action, especially considering he had little to do most games.

On the goalkeeping note, academy product Josh Magennis, who deputised for Michael Oakes in the Carling Cup game against Liverpool last season, has now been told he has no future as a goalkeeper. However, he has been offered the chance to prove himself at the club as an outfield player. This one could get interesting…

Also, presumably third choice goalkeeper this term is the young Pole Erwin Sak. Little is known about him, but could we have an ace in our pack and the new Boruc or Dudek set to make the step up? Who knows… I don’t.

The day before our next signing, Peter Ridsdale noted how we were in talks with somebody who scored double figures in the Premier League last year. Great I thought, enthusiastically looking back at the goal records for last season in BSkyB’s lovechild. The only viable player and option from that list was Dave Kitson, and let’s be honest, even that deal would have been some coup. Therefore, I contemplated that perhaps our much-maligned chairman had got his dates mixed up, and had instead meant the season before last. Accordingly, after devising the exciting conclusion that it must be Bobby Zamora (an old foe who always impressed against us for Brighton & Hove) we were signing, in came 11-goal SCOTISH Premier League man, Ross McCormack, along with a 19 year old Irish lad named Darren Dennehy from Everton. Very clever, Propaganda Pete.

I surmise that the former, costing £100k in compensation due to being out of contract at Motherwell, will chiefly operate as an impact substitute in the early stages of the campaign. McCormack adds to the growing Scottish contingent at the club, three of whom now have Rangers connections. I am not overly excited by this signing just yet (famous last words… yet I wouldn’t mind if they were!!), because the last striker we signed with a good goal record in the Scottish Premier League was Steven Thompson.

Another reason I’m not too animated just yet by his arrival is because of the cynicism and scepticism I suffer from whenever a forward man arrives at our club. The list of strikers signed by Dave Jones (Michael Chopra aside) is best read out when accompanied by BBC1 mid-evening family comedy style canned laughter. Iwan Redan, Robbie Fowler, Luigi Glombard, Guylain Ndumbu Nsungu, Warren Feeney (who got a three-year deal for crying out loud!), Kevin Campbell, Jason Byrne, and trust me; there will be more of where they came from. Undeniably, they were gambles signed in a time of desperate financial need, and sometimes, speculative risks pay off. Nevertheless, whoever recommended these clowns to Dave Jones (if it was not he who spotted them himself) should probably consider a career change, as not one of them was anywhere near to the striking standards any club hoping to gain one iota of respect, ambition, or promotion should be aspiring to sign (albeit freebie players).

Dennehy (a defender-cum-midfielder), who was signed on a free, is a signing I can’t make my mind up on. By that, I mean I cannot understand a solid reason as to why he has been brought here for. Unless of course, the club really are aware of the fact one of Johnson and Loovens will be departing in the very near future? Dennehy has received a three-year deal, so that surely means he has done enough to impress the management team already, despite failing to make a single first team appearance for the Toffees? Coming from Everton, Dave Jones’s old and childhood-favoured club, I presume our gaffer has internal connections that have sung the praises of this young Irishman. My natural doubt aside, I cannot see Dennehy being inserted into the starting line-up straight away, for two fundamental reasons A. Everton would have done more to keep him if the fire of potential burned that bright within him, B. our central pairing don’t need amending, and B. Well, silly as it sounds, people would have heard of him before. The red-top fuelled silly season is omnipotent and omnipresent, the gravy drowning the French fries of football! Still, that’s not to say anybody unknown can’t be a good player: I just can’t see him immediately staking a serious challenge for the place of one our proven and experienced centre-halves or centre-midfielders, especially when it comes to Dave ‘Ready Salted flavour’ Jones and radical team changes.

Next up was ex-Liverpool, Wolves and Crystal Palace winger Mark Kennedy. Formerly a cohort of Jones’s at Wolverhampton, he could prove a useful acquisition as we’ve been missing a handy wideman to come off the bench and stretch teams since Sinclair showed cunning and experience at the start of last season, Malvin Kamara showed flashes of potential, and back when Kevin Cooper was half decent. It gives us a new tool to use, anyhow.

Spending and rumour mill but going nowhere wise this summer, Dave Jones seemed to be going all guns blazin’ for Rangers striker Kris Boyd. £3.5m was the touted figure! Since then however, Boyd’s colleague (yet another striker in the SPL – I don’t think Dave realises you can actually buy players from other leagues!) Daniel Cousin was also supposedly being sought after. My most abiding memory of the Gabon man is getting sent off in the UEFA Cup semi-final second leg against Fiorentina for an absolutely ridiculous head-butt. We love ‘em intelligent down here! Also linked were two young Crewe starlets (one of whom, Maynard, is a very exciting prospect indeed). Such stories are all at the silly-season speculation stage for now mind.

And then finally, in came the big one. Step forward, Mr Marcus Bent. This signing was announced a day after Robbie Fowler’s departure, so it was an example of the club finally mastering the public relations thing for a change: burying the bad with the good. Marcus - who’s now had more clubs than most have had hot dinners - certainly has the ability, experience (32 years old can be a very good age for a striker at this level), and an eye for goal that can be more easily displayed and utilized in a league such as this. Take James Beattie for Sheffield United last season as a great case in point. It’s common knowledge however that Bent is a bit of a party animal and has an eye for the ladies. Let’s hope that Dave Jones has showed him who the boss is, that this is not a mere stepping stone in his career and he has the chance to build up a fading reputation; as well as the fact that a club such as ours can provide him the opportunity to enjoy his football again. If all goes swimmingly, this could rank up there with some inspired Dave Jones lifetime captures such as Marian Pahars for Southampton, or Seyi George Olofinjana for Wolves.